Rapplistory : Music and Lyrics by Daphne Kalfon ©2007
Once upon a time
there came together two minds
they were both called Steve
and with their talents would achieve
a real milestone
in technology
the first personal computer
in our history
it was 1976
the price six hundred sixty-six
they built two hundred in all
but soon the first Apple would fall
to make way for the next
a new machine with more finesse
but there was just one catch
and that was how to get the cash
M. Markkula
he co-signed a loan
thus was born Apple Computer
and a third of it he owned
once you get a mac
there’s never going back
it’s all you ever want to own
puts your mind in the zone
there were problems down the line
it was a turbulent time
there was unrest in the ranks
and tribulation with the banks
1984
Apple was breaking down the door
to make a comeback
with somethin’ called the Mac
they got a hold of Ridley Scott
and bought a Superbowl spot
it was a marketing smash
innovative news splash
and things really got cozy
when they hooked up with Adobe
was a perfect kind of match
DTP would hatch
1985
Stevie got outta line
things were gettin’ real crazy
he was asked to resign
from his own company
how could that be
but it really did happen
and I hope no one’s laughin’
he was feeling quite dejected
from having been rejected
but it soon turned out to be
the thing that helped to set him free
to buy Pixar
and found the company NeXT
he was doing what he loved
and it was all for the best
once you get a mac
there’s never going back
it’s all you ever want to own
puts your mind in the zone
and as the apple tree grew
from the Apple number two
came forth the Apple II c
and then the Apple II g
and the Mac pack
was its own family
with the Mac Plus, II, SE
the Classic and the LC
PowerBook
in 1991
was a landmark product
a new chapter had begun
Apple was doin’ really well
everybody feelin’ swell
but they needed to upset
the IBM PC threat
so they came out with the Quadra
the Centris and Performa
but they didn’t do so well
they lost a lot of clientele
so in 1994
they knocked at IBM’s door
and came the Power Macintosh
it was a beauty oh my gosh!
and the Newton
the first PDA
it didn’t do so great
but the idea was here to stay
then in 1996
they were in need of a fix
so they brought the Steve back
to get the Apple on track
and bought his company NeXT
it would become the new OS
they made him CEO
he was in charge of the show
it was a real fine move
it would help to prove
that he had all it would take
to reclaim the Apple stake
once you get a mac
there’s never going back
it’s all you ever want to own
puts your mind in the zone
get the iMac
it was a real mac attack
the Mac was getting on track
sophisticated comeback
in came the iBook
and the Power Mac G4
everybody take a look
how about the new AirPort
two thousand one
enter the Mac OS X
what a beautiful thing
well you can say that again
behold the iPod, Powerbook
the Power Mac G5
it was clear for all to see
Apple was very much alive
they got their very own store
they’d never had one before
now they could get with the biz
well you know how it is
with the iTunes Store
Apple is right at the fore
of a new way to the music
and the way we’re gonna use it
and it’s growing by the day
as a revolutionary way
to get your movies and TV shows
podcasts and videos
lookin’ swell Macintels
bootcamp and parallels
pullin’ out the masses
from the Microsoft molasses
what’s on Apple TV?
everything you wanna see
that’s on your Mac or your PC
now it’s on the big screen
iWork, iLife
everything to make it fun to
digitize, harmonize
capitalize and organize
iPhone
Apple’s done it again
this pioneering product
gets a ten out of ten
it’s a household name
things‘ll never be the same
just one more thing to say
Apple Inc. is here to stay!
iTouch
Leopard
and if you want anymore you can sing it yourself
You : Music & Lyrics by Daphne Kalfon © 2005
you make my life a joy to live
you give me all a man could give
all I ever wanted, I have in you
you’re full of wisdom, like a sage
so vastly above average
all I ever dreamed of, I found in you
you’re the one I waited for
you’re the one I so adore
things could never be
as wonderful and sweet
without you
I cherish every day with you
there’s nothing that I wouldn’t do
to always make you feel your very best
I thank the heavens every day
for helping me to find my way
to you and all the loving in your heart
you’re the one I waited for
you’re the one I so adore
things could never be
as wonderful and sweet
without you
It's Christmas Time
It’s Christmas Time : Music and Lyrics by Daphne Kalfon © 2006
leaves on the trees have fallen
birds up above are calling
arrival of winter’s just a breath away
stars so bright they light my way
the end of another year
the season of joy is here
it’s Christmas time
yeah Christmas time
help spread the cheer
oh what a time it’s
all I ever wished that it could be
open your eyes and you will see
what it can truly be
all it was meant to be
to you and me
families come together
to share in the joy and pleasure
of all of the things that help to warm the heart
the glow of the hearthstone plays its part
lift up a glass and pray
this spirit is here to stay
chorus
solos
chorus
Bananas
As with “Mr. Simpson”, this song was the result of an online song contest. The contest rule was to write a song that mentioned the word “banana” at least once in the song. I guess I took it one step further and actually wrote the whole song about bananas. It wasn’t difficult as bananas just happen to be my favourite fruit. The song didn’t win in the contest but I know it was enjoyed by many. Again, stylistically, I’d say this is right in my comfort zone. Quirky is good : )
Bananas : Music & Lyrics by Daphne Kalfon © 2004
bananas about bananas
that’s what people say about me
cuz when I get up in the morn
the first thing I need
the first thing I reach for
the first thing I crave
is not a cup of java...but a big, beautiful, banana!!!
bananas are my favourite food
the most delectable fruit
I like ‘em when they’re still green
and I don’t care where they’ve been
they like to live where it’s hot
and they won’t grow if it’s not
they’re high in Vitamin B
and all the fibre I need
you can call me a monkey
I don’t mind at all
bananas are so cool and funky
they’re guaranteed to make you smile
they help you go that extra mile
they make an awesome bread or cake
eat one today for goodness sake!
bananas are my favourite food
the most delectable fruit
I like ‘em when they’re still green
and I don’t care where they’ve been
they like to live where it’s hot
and they won’t grow if it’s not
they’re high in Vitamin B
and all the fibre I need
if if you know what I mean
you can call me a monkey
I don’t mind at all
bananas are so cool and funky
they’re guaranteed to make you smile
they help you go that extra mile
they make an awesome bread or cake
eat one today for goodness sake!
bananas
I just can’t live without ‘em
bananas
I need one every day, at least one
bananas
and they’re so convenient, you can take them anywhere
bananas
they even come with their very own wrapper!
bananas
and they’re ready to eat, and good to eat, any time of day
at work, rest or play
I mean, you can practically live on those things
and like, what’s the first thing an athlete reaches for after he’s run a race? a banana of course!
Kate’s Keys
Although I had previously written a few songs that contained some spoken word in them, this was the first piece I wrote that was entirely spoken word. Again, the jazz influence is very strong here, although I would really be hard-pressed to categorize the accompanying music I wrote here. I suppose you could call this a performance piece, or a live sketch for the theatre.
Kate’s Keys : Music & Lyrics by Daphne Kalfon © 2005
I couldn’t find my keys this morning, and to make matters their absolute worst, I was already late for my dental appointment.
Now where on earth could I have put those keys? I’ve looked in every possible place they could be.
I’ve turned everything upside down! Damn those keys! Where in G-d’s name are they?
Hiding of course.
There is simply nowhere else for me to look.
On top of the refrigerator, under the sofa in the living room, through every single drawer that exists in my kitchen, home office, and bathroom... I have even checked the litter box!
Should I have just stayed in bed this morning? called in to cancel my appointment?
Oh, wait! I forgot a spot...
False alarm, I have already looked there. I just can’t think of anywhere else to look. I am truly at my wits end.
Should I start moving furniture? and ripping out the carpet? or maybe I should get myself a metal detector.
I KNEW I should have made copies of my keys and kept them somewhere safe!
but I never got around to doing it, did I?
I swear, I’ve learned my lesson... I will never let this happen again...
Now where are my keys?!?
I really was looking forward to finally getting my root canal done and over with today...
fate has other plans...
So what am I going to do now, sit in the corner and feel sorry for myself? I’ve got to do something? But I can’t just leave the house with the door unlocked.
Maybe this once I can just trust the neighbours - I mean, they seem harmless enough...
So it looks like I’m off to my dental appointment after all!
What in hell is this?!?
There are keys on the outside of my door, still sitting in the deadbolt lock - and they are my keys!!! How could I do such a thing! Was I on drugs last night?
I must be losing my mind. There is simply no other explanation for this. Right after my root canal, I am going straight to the doctor to get myself checked. This is most worrisome. I cannot believe I could do such a thing.
All that aggravation I went through this morning... and for what?... I can’t think of anything worse...they were sitting in the lock the whole time - and overnight no less. How scandalous! Can you imagine? Unbelievable. What am I to make of this?
After I get myself checked, if they find nothing wrong with me, that means it was just a glitch in the system - my brain had a temporary lapse, nothing more. Let’s just hope it doesn’t happen again, because really, I don’t know what I would do then. I just can’t deal with these kinds of situations.
Wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. After all, I still haven’t even left to go to my appointment.
Should I phone to let them know I’m late???
I’m sure they know I’m coming; after all, who would want to miss a root canal?
“Hello, this is Kate. I just wanted to let Dr. Dimbleby know that I’m running a little late for my appointment. I beg your pardon? My appointment was yesterday? But how could that be? I had it programmed into my electronic organizer months ago, when you gave it to me. There must surely be a mistake.
Oh, there is? a fee for missed appointments?
but I, could I, well if, I, I didn’t...
Well this hardly seems fair to me! I think I’ll just find myself another dentist.
Good Day!”
I really didn’t need that damn root canal anyway! What was I honestly thinking!
I think I’ll go to the locksmith now, and get myself, another set of, keys.
What a Holiday
After “I Love My Mac” came out on the December 2005 issue of MacAddict’s CD-ROM, many of you asked if I would write a Christmas tune, and not wanting to disappoint, I wrote one, and this was what came out. Good holiday fun. All done in GarageBand. And yes those are all JamPack instruments, believe it or not! :-)
What a Holiday : Music
and Lyrics by Daphne Kalfon © 2005
made a handy list
already checked it twice
going store to store to get the very best price
feeling kind of stressed
little time to rest
elves are working overtime to do their very best
the yule-tide log
and the rum and eggnog
and the tie-on reindeer antlers on the family dog
Christmas is here the end of yet another year
what a holiday
friends and family
gather gleefully
though there’s always someone that you’d rather not
see
better not to pout
cuz that’s what it’s about
may the season bring you peace and joy and harmony
the yule-tide log
and the rum and eggnog
and the tie-on reindeer antlers on the family dog
Christmas is here the end of yet another year
what a holiday
repeat
children, singing, playing in the snow
sleighbells, ringing,
Santa Claus will soon be coming down the chimney
ho-ho!
the yule-tide log
and the rum and eggnog
and the tie-on reindeer antlers on the family dog
Christmas is here the end of yet another year
what a holiday
repeat
Lolly
The first entirely spoken word piece I did was called “Kate’s Keys”. I had great fun writing it, and wanted to write another one. For this next one, I was thinking along the lines of basing it on the style of nursery rhymes, and that’s how “Lolly” was born. This could be considered a musical number for an as yet unnamed theatrical stage production. And yes, it is a bit dark, but aren’t most nursery rhymes?
Lolly : Music and
Lyrics by Daphne Kalfon © 2005
Lolly was a girl at school who never brushed her
hair
she always wore the same old green beret
Lolly was a girl at school who didn’t seem to care
never did she go outside to play
hush, hush
she never spoke a word
didn't seem to want to have a friend
boo hoo
don’t you make her cry
tears of Lolly never had an end
Lolly was a girl at school who never brushed her
hair
she always wore the same old green beret
Lolly was a girl at school who didn’t seem to care
never did she go outside to play
Lolly isn’t feeling well
went to see the nurse
seems she has a fever
they’ll have to send her home
seems to be a sickly child
don’t know why that is
maybe she just wants to be alone
Lolly was a girl at school who never brushed her
hair
she always wore the same old green beret
Lolly was a girl at school who didn’t seem to care
never did she go outside to play
Lolly never bit her nails
never killed a fly
never took a bite of plastercine
Lolly never broke a toy
never lost her shoes
everything she did was by routine
flip-flop belly drop
sittin’ in the corner
eating all the bumbleberry pie
barn yard scramble
hiding in the corner
hope it doesn’t poke you in the eye
Lolly come to play now
we’ve been waiting for you
perhaps she’s in a state we’ve never seen
Lolly come to play now
we’ve been looking for you
perhaps she’s in a place we’ve never been
dark and scary
blue, black and green
full of things that like to break your mind
maybe there’s a scary face, one we’ve never seen
only in a nightmare would we find
Lolly was a girl at school who never brushed her
hair
she always wore the same old green beret
Lolly was a girl at school who didn’t seem to care
never did she go outside to play
finders keepers losers the weepers
last one to the tree is a rotten egg
gummy bears and jelly beans
hoppety-scotch and figurines
shake around the tambourine
dressing up for Halloween
hoola-hoops and hotdogs
skip rope and leapfrogs
peanut butter and raspberry jam
try to catch me if you can
ring around the posie...
Lolly was a girl at school who never brushed her
hair
she always wore the same old green beret
Lolly was a girl at school who didn’t seem to care
never did she go outside to play
nobody has seen her
she hasn’t been to school
we’re curious to know what could be the cause
wonder blunder curtains drawn asunder
finally we might be able to see
slither to the window
stealthy as a snake
careful they don’t see us
grounded for a year
can’t resist the urge to peak
like a game of hide and seek
the old house is empty
not a scrap left behind
just what kind of people are they
that they could do such a thing
it leaves us all rather confused
and wondering if it’s something that we did, or
didn’t do
or said or didn’t say
and that if we had said this thing or done that
thing,
then maybe things would be very much different than
they are now
it’s a little late to speculate
they’ve probably gone as far away as the moon
away away up high
up into the sky
never to be seen or heard of again
Lolly was a girl at school who never brushed her
hair
she always wore the same old green beret
Lolly was a girl at school who didn’t seem to care
never did she go outside to play
Unknown
This rap style song basically recounts my life story in about 6 minutes. I did write it before my song "I Love My Mac" became fairly well known in Mac circles around the world, but I've still got a ways to go!
Unknown:Music &
Lyrics by Daphne Kalfon © 2005
when I was four, was the first time I explored
the moving pieces in a row that is called a piano
I played a simple tune, while my mom was in the
room
she was watching in surprise, couldn’t quite
believe her eyes
so they got me lessons, some very happy sessions
with a guy who really was a piano tuner by
profession
well I made my own music, I played up a storm
what a joy to just create in this newfound artform
a real fine story, no need to feel sorry
‘til they decided to enroll me in the big
conservatory
with a teach of a certain age, crusty old and grey
she didn’t like the way that I could already play
she said “what you need is to learn how to read”
but that was only the beginning of her tyranny
she had me practice every day, according to her way
she piled the books up high with a glitter in her
eye
there were concerts competitions master classes and
exams
no time for composition cuz she didn’t give a damn
gone were the days when I could just sit and play
the tortured artist in me began to lose its way
and this went on for many years, until my weary
ears
discovered a music with pizzazz that is also known
as jazz
musical interlude a la jazz
I started taking lessons, once again had happy
sessions
I was gettin’ all creative, my teach appreciative
those were real good times, helped to ease my mind
I knew my life was music but to my dismay would
find
that my mother was opposed, said the door was
closed
that she’d never help me out if that was what I
chose
she said I’d never make it, no way to facilitate it
I just wanted to cry, I was dyin’ inside
good-bye to creativity hello to university
I studied real hard went to classes dutifully
but my heart was aching, my spirit nearly breaking
from oppression and neglect, of having to forget
what was integral to me, what I was born to be
what made me feel so alive made me truly want to
strive
what made my spirit sing, the joy that it could
bring
was buried deep inside from years of having to hide
and I ask you this:
why am I, still undiscovered still a complete
unknown
I just don’t get it, I just don’t get it
why am I, still undiscovered still a complete
unknown
I fell into the abyss, what the hell is this
its not what I had had in mind, and all that I
could find
was dread and helplessness, a crushing emptiness
and with no easy way out, what was it about
well it was what I had to do, I needed to go
through
to reclaim my own mind, my sanity to find
and get my spirit back, that had been so attacked
I was my own person now, to no one would I bow
and with my newfound self, feelin’ really swell
I met my shining knight, the partner for my life
he made me feel complete, he swept me off my feet
but then before too long, he knew something was
wrong
he said why in hell, has what you do so well
been systematically ignored, well not for one day
more
I got a studio, a place where I could go
to get the music out, cuz that’s what it’s about
it was alive again, music was the friend
that I had lost in time, but once again was mine
and it was here to stay, it would help me play
as in the days of yore, when I was only four
short musical interlude
multi-track recording, a profusion of sound
what a treasure trove of goodies had I finally
found
I started to discover all the music in my head
it was only the beginning of the work that lay
ahead
I wrote scores for animation, studied orchestration
wanted to be a film composer but I’m not a
brown-noser
so it really got depressing, things were not
progressing
so I had to let it go, but it turned out to be a
blessing
cuz I knew I loved song, and so it wasn’t long
before I started to write, words and music taking
flight
creating ballads and pop, country/western and rock
americana and jazz, even jingles with pizzazz
and I ask you this:
why am I, still undiscovered still a complete
unknown
I just don’t get it, I just don’t get it
why am I, still undiscovered still a complete
unknown
I play the piano myself, I don’t need your help
cuz I can do it on my own, I always work alone
but what I really should confess, how I define
success
is what my listeners say, if they like the way
my music swirls inside their head, like a vintage
red
it’s got a full bouquet of notes, I know I’ve got
your votes
but more importantly than that, is the very fact
that I can move you to a place, an other worldly
space
where you have never been before, I touch the very
core
of the emotional realm, I am at the helm
of this intangible ship, I take us on a trip
and its a real good bet, one you won’t forget
and so I ask you all this, how can I exist
and be completely unknown, standing all alone
there’s got to be a way in, some way to begin
a music journey of my own, from all the seeds I’ve
sown
chorus
solo
Am I Being Unfair
This song has an interesting story. It was based on a forum discussion at www.macjams.com, and when at one point, a person in the discussion (Eduard) half-seriously wished that the original forum post could be made into a song, I couldn’t resist the challenge. I must say, with some of the lyrics already in place, it only took a few minutes for me to rework them and to create the chorus and verse melodies, and from there, it was a musical romp of a very unusual and unique nature. The other voice you hear in the song is that of Eduard. Needless to say, it was a most fun-filled collaborative effort. Many thanks to all involved!
All music by Daphne Kalfon. Initial lyrics unwittingly provided by CJorgensen on a macjams forum, same lyrics put into song form by Eduard Schwan aka Drakonis, with further additions and rearranging of lyrics by Daphne Kalfon © 2005
Am I Being Unfair
from my anecdotal experience
of listening to and rating songs on this site
which I seem to do practically all day and all night
it looks like about one in five have lyrics.
(we both say this line) I think the reason for this is obvious,
but I don’t know if I’m wrong
or if I’m right...
am I being unfair?
sometimes it kind of feels like a waste (like a waste)
are we just unaware?
or do the words truly add taste...
Apple has made it so easy (so easy)
to throw a handful of loops together
add an effect, and call it a song
but I don’t know if it’s right or wrong?
chorus
why am I being elitist (such snobbery! who me?)
since I don’t know how to play note one (not one? not a one!)
song after song, did I just have deja vu
but I don’t know why it makes me blue... (so blue, so blue)
chorus
I tend to rate songs with lyrics higher (between ten and one)
since the effort seems to be more (seems to be)
I’m throwing this out there for discussion
cuz I don’t really know what’s in store... (in store, in store)
chorus twice
Daphna’s tirade over repeating chorus/music:
I would have to agree with that assessment, that there are many more piece on macjams without lyrics than there are with. And I also agree that the reason for this is obvious,
the reason being that it is easier to write a piece without lyrics than with, unless of course you are talking about an intricate orchestral piece, or some other kind of instrumental piece that requires an advanced skill level, and a vast knowledge of music. Then, in my estimation, even though such pieces contain no lyrics, they are at least or probably more difficult to write than a piece containing lyrics, but of course this all depends on a myriad of variables...
Excuse me! Hello?!? I’m still talking here!!!
I wasn’t finished yet! Do you mind!!!
This has got to be the most ridiculous song I have ever heard in my entire life!
Quite frankly, I don’t give a damn about this topic anymore!
I don’t even know how I got myself into this in the first place! But I’m leaving now. Yes, really! But we could at least shut off this horrendous music? Please?!?
Oh, well it’s about bloody time! I never thought I’d hear the end of it! I mean really, did it have to go on for so long?!?
drakonis’s tirade over repeating chorus/music:
I’m afraid I don’t agree with that. There are centuries of classical music that have no lyrics, and I personally enjoy a lot of music that has no lyrics. In fact, when I write songs, they usually have no lyrics... why? Because I believe that writing music and writing lyrical poetry are two different talents. Some people are good at both. If somebody writes a beautifully arranged and performed song and it has no lyrics, I won't criticize it because it has no words. But, part of your hypothesis was that Apple's GarageBand loops were actually suppressing people's ability to add lyrics to their songs...
Hey.. uh, I’m still talking...
You know, it’s really rude to sing over people while they’re still talking?
Blah-blah.
Fine... just keep on singing. I don’t think anybody’s listening to either of us any more anyway. My futile ranting and your sappy music have definitely sabotaged any attempt at having an intelligent discussion about this topic. I’m finished... hey, you can stop now... I’m turning off the lights... bye...
Mr. Simpson
In the spring of 2005 on macjams, a song contest was announced - it was a “MacJams/TuneMedia GarageBand Composition Contest”, with the main rule being to incorporate at least three loops from TuneMedia into your song. The loops to be used in the contest were made available as a free download. If you’ve been reading everything prior to this, you know that I love a challenge. I downloaded and previewed several of the TuneMedia loops, and there were three that really jumped out at me. The moment I combined them, “Mr. Simpson” emerged. Perhaps he had been waiting in the wings.
Mr. Simpson : Music & Lyrics by Daphne Kalfon ©
2005
Mr. Simpson won’t you try to be my friend
when is all this trouble ever going to end
you let your dog relieve himself on my lawn (every
single day!)
you put your garbage where it doesn’t belong (on my
property!)
and you don’t seem to think there’s anything wrong
but let me tell you, tell you, tell you
I could give your dog a bone, a special one when
he’s alone
and nobody’ll know, who caused his early demise
I could rent a farmer’s truck and fill it with some
real good stuff
and nobody’ll know, who left that smelly surprise
and then I’ll be gone...
Mr. Simpson won’t you try to be my friend
when is all this trouble ever going to end
you let your gardener chop my favourite tree (it
was grandmother’s!)
you play accordion at quarter to three (in the
morning!)
it’s your true nature that you don’t wanna see
but let me tell you, tell you, tell you
I could cut your fruit trees down and prune your
roses to the ground
and nobody’ll know, the green thumb on the go
I could bring a bagpipe band the biggest loudest in
the land
and nobody’ll know, just what brought on the show
and then I’ll be gone...
I’m telling you Mr. Simpson, this can’t go on.
Remember that line that says “love thy neighbour?
Well, doesn’t it mean anything to you? ... at all?
Here goes...”
Mr. Simpson won’t you try to be my friend
when will all this trouble (ever) end
Mr. Simpson's Bomb Ditty
Soon after I posted “Mr. Simpson” on macjams, it was bombed - it was given one or more very low ratings. I was rather miffed about it of course, but instead of going on a tirade, I quickly whipped up this little ditty, a kind of jingle you could say, to let people know what happened and to tell them to go have a listen to “Mr. Simpson”.
Mr. Simpson’s Bomb-Ditty : Music and Lyrics by Daphne Kalfon © 2005
Mr. Simpson got bombed today
he became distressed and perplexed, in a Mr. Simpson kind of way
but he got a hold of himself
and he asked me if I could play this little ditty
because he has this for me to say
listen to “Mr. Simpson”
he’s on macjams and waiting for you
so please do come on by
yes, it’s my shameless self-promotion
better than creating another commotion
around this whole rating thing
it can really mess things up
and bring things down
in a big way
when all most people really wanna do
is just play
you know, I don’t know why,
but I have this terrible sinking feeling
that I should have gone into jingle writing
you know, for commericals, and that sort of thing
listen to “Mr. Simpson”
he’s on macjams and waiting for you
so please do come on by
please do come on by
please do come on by